Another topic that I am very passionate about is fertility awareness. As I stated in my last post, being a mother was something I always knew I wanted to be. Most people dream about being doctors or lawyers, I just wanted to be a mom. I met my husband in 2000 when I was in the ninth grade. We started dated and married in 2007. A few years after we were married we knew we wanted to start having children. Unfortunately, this did not come easy for us. We tried for a while naturally and decided to see a fertility specialist when we were unable to get pregnant.

The first fertility specialist we saw ran all the initial testing and recommended we have an HSG to see if my tubes were clear. This was the most pain I have ever felt in my life. It was worse than labor! Luckily, everything was clear and so he suggested we try exploratory surgery to see if I had Endometriosis. We suspected this because my sister had it. We learned that I did in fact have a mild case of Endometriosis but he cleaned it all up and said I should be able to get pregnant. About 6 months later I became pregnant with my first child. We were thrilled! At this point we had been trying a year and had spent lots of money already. I had just started my first year as an assistant principal and my life was very busy. August is one of the busiest months for an assistant principal.

One day as I was releasing buses for the afternoon, I felt myself bleeding. Because I am very serious about my job I finished releasing buses, made some phone calls to parents and then remembered I had felt something on the bus lot and I should go check it out. I went to the bathroom and sure enough I was bleeding pretty good. I was devastated. I called my husband who was racing out of town and told him what had happened. He was still hopeful and suggested I go to the doctor. I called my doctor and made an appointment for the next day. That was the absolute worse day of my life. I cried so hard I could not breathe. I just knew things were not good. I called my mom and she could barely understand what I was saying. I had not told her I was pregnant because I was waiting for "that special moment". She was devastated and cried with me.

The next morning my mom and I drove an hour to my doctor where they drew my blood. They told me it would take a while to get the results back but they would call me. My mom and I decided to stay in town just in case they needed me to come back in. We went to the mall and I remember walking through the baby departments and my heart just sinking. Hours later I had not heard from the doctor so I called them. The nurse said, "I'm sorry we were at lunch, let me find your labs." After holding for what felt like 10 minutes she came back and said in a very mater of fact tone "You are no longer pregnant." Just like that. With no compassion in her voice. I thought I would die. I knew it, but hearing it was earth shaking. I felt like everything good in my life was gone. I had so many questions. What happened? Was it my fault? Would it happen again? On the way home, I cried hysterically and pleaded with God. I returned to work that Monday and felt so empty. Nothing felt good anymore. My joy was gone.

 After a few months we decided to try again. This time my doctor recommended we try an IUI. Since he did not perform those he transferred us to our second fertility doctor.  He told us that we should try no more than 3 rounds of IUI's because research shows that any future rounds are unlikely to be successful. If you have never hear of an IUI- let's just say it includes lots of pills, a trigger injection in which you give yourself and more pain. We tried three rounds of IUIs and unfortunately all three rounds failed. The only other option was IVF.

My husband and I made an appointment with a doctor from Duke who works once a month at our local hospital. We were told he would perform the transfer of embryos if we decided to go that route. After speaking with him he said he would complete the transfer in June if we were interested. I left that appointment and told my husband that IVF was not a part of our story. Our testimony was going to be that God brought us a baby and we wouldn't need IVF. We prayed "Thy Will Be Done".

The summer passed and my mother in law was diagnosed with a brain tumor. In August we traveled to Raleigh with her because they were going to try and identify what type of tumor she had. My husband was also racing that weekend so we traveled back and forth each night from the hospital to the track. As we were leaving the track on practice day I told my husband we needed to stop at the store to buy a pregnancy test. I assured him I was not pregnant but just wanted to double check. Anyone who has struggled with fertility will tell you they have tried hundreds of pregnancy tests and so we know better than to get excited.

When we got back to the hotel room, I took the test and it read "pregnant" I looked at my husband and said in a very serious, emotionless face, "It says I'm pregnant." He grabbed the stick and said "oh my god". Then, I started to bawl. Not because I was excited, but because I was terrified it would end in a miscarriage. That night, I cramped terribly just like I did the time before. I was in so much pain I thought about going to the emergency room. The next morning, I called my doctor and they were able to get me in on Monday.


During this appointment they did a scan and could not see a baby. They tested my blood and told me that I would do repeat labs in a few days. When I returned, again they could not see anything on the scan but my numbers had tripled. We did this several times and finally they said they saw a baby!!!! I spent the next 8 months terrified. I bled some and cramped a lot. Fortunately for us, our miracle baby was safe and was born April 25th, 2017. He is our miracle.




I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store"